Parents: Our Most Valuable Players?!!

Miriam Campbell, ELCA Division for Congregational Ministries

A few days ago, I watched a group of children picking teams for a soccer game. As the designated captains scanned the line-up for prospective teammates, I couldn’t help but wonder what everyone was thinking. Many children, boys and girls, all shapes and sizes waited to be chosen. A few seasoned 1^st-choice types “spun” balls on their fingertips to intrigue the captains with their smooth “first-come, first-serve” strategies. Others, with a twinge of anticipation and uncertain vulnerability had “pleeeeze include me” written on their faces. Some looked down, with hands in their pockets, just hoping they wouldn’t be overlooked THIS time. The captains, on the other hand, seemed to have one thing on their minds, “getting the most for their money” each time around.

As my own experiences have grown, I have come to believe that most of what we do incorporates a similar form of assessment and ongoing evaluation. Whether personal or more public, or professional, I continually find myself on the “giving or receiving” end of this deal. As teachers, we are privileged to be the designated “captains” in a variety a variety of contexts. We choose resources and design lesson plans, treasure certain colleagues and come to depend on specific students to maintain class equilibriums. We are continually making choices based on our current need and the resources we have available. And, in the midst of this, my question is —“Where are the parents in your line-up?” In what ways do you engage them and value their participation? How intricately are they involved in your overall plans for nurturing THEIR children?

Because parents hold the hearts of the children you teach, they may reflect the same vulnerable intent as the soccer pool of potential teammates. I would venture to say that most of them probably have their own version of an inner desire to join in a proactive partnership as you both strive to shape the character, motivation and overall development of their children. But, for many, their uncertainty about, and level of confidence in, the actual role teachers would like them to play leaves them feeling like the education of their children is a “spectator’s sport.”

Partnerships between the school and the home rarely thrive when they are based solely on the current “batting average” or academic performance of the child. In fact, our commitment to education within the context of faith community, opens the door to a relationship that goes beyond the various tasks that just need to be done. It invites us to consider parents to be one of the first resources we tap as we design our lesson plans. It prompts us to draw from the wealth of experience they’ve had with the students we teach, including the dreams they hold and challenges they face. It inspires us to engage them, early on, in acknowledging and affirming the various roles you share or individually play as the child grows socially, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. It involves a joint admission that their children, your students, are worthy of knowing and growing within the strength of your joint partnership. And, it humbles us to realize that they are all precious, uniquely gifted children of God, entrusted for this moment into your joint care and ongoing prayer.

Unlike soccer, education within a Christian context is not a matter of winning or losing OR passing and failing, but engaging God-given students, in a more full-service way, to employ their God-given talents and abilities in the God-given “game” of Life!

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