As I reflect back on my years of working with children, from infants to teenagers, there are some that stand out. Sometimes they stand out because they were exceptionally bright, or exceptionally sweet, or exceptionally cute, but often the children who stand out in my mind are those with whom I experienced “challenges”. We’ve all had them—the ones that have tried our patience as far as it will go. Trevon, the 2-year-old who tried to flush my cat down the toilet years ago when I had a family home day care; Derek who had a temper tantrum in the Pre-K room at a center where I was a director and dumped a half a gallon of juice on several children; Joshua who, as a toddler, bit anyone within striking distance; Taylor, a 3-year-old who would leave his teacher in tears most days because of his constant disruptions in any group activity; Colby who not only bit other children, but bit ME; Tim the teenage foster child who stole money from me—the list goes on.

Were these children with special needs? Yes, they all were to a certain degree. They certainly had special needs because of behaviors they displayed indicated that they were in desperate need of extra attention, were not ready for large group socialization, or ?? The possibilities are endless. What I have learned over the years of working with children is that sometimes, as teachers and caregivers, we get “hung up” on trying to diagnose the cause of a child’s problems and we forget that it is just as important to try new methods, develop new approaches, and seek out solutions to help them be more successful in their setting. Certainly, knowing a child’s background and any medical, social and medical problems is extremely important in developing a plan, but we have to ask the question, “Where do we go from here?”, rather than make the comment, “Isn’t it too bad that’s the way it is.”

I recall conversations among my early childhood center staff, trying to determine whether a child’s behavioral problems were due to ADHD, mild autism, a sensory disorder, poor parenting, etc. I learned to say, “You know, I don’t know. None of us are doctors or psychologists, but we do know what symptoms and behaviors we’re faced with, so let’s work with the parents and professionals to develop a plan to do the best we can for this child.”

Children with behavior problems that don’t seem to be associated with any medical or mental health diagnosis are often our greatest challenges, and yes, those children have special needs.

We aren’t always able to be successful with every child. There are times when extreme behavior problems don’t seem to improve—even with professional intervention and a plan in place to modify their behavior. Sometimes we have to say that we simply cannot meet the child’s needs—at least not without sacrificing the safety and quality learning environment of the other children. But we need to try, we need to communicate with the parents, and we need to be there for the family if and when we have to say we cannot do any more. And—we can always keep the child and family in our prayers.

God has given us the opportunity to nurture and teach His children—may His love flow through us to all of them.

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